The wait is over.

To those of you who were anxiously waiting..
Anyone? haha

Annnnnnnnd, of course I'm not pregnant. Per usual. My period came yesterday and was all, "Hey, remember when you really wanted to have a baby? TOO BAD."
I'm not sure what I'm going to next. Spencer leaves really, really soon. So I'm not sure if were even going to have time to try again.

Until then I get to deal with the emotions of failing yet again.
I just feel like I have all this love to give to a baby, but no chance to give it.
I get so angry every time someone complains about their duties of motherhood. Those things you take for granted, Ive been praying for every day. I'm so emotionally exhausted. I have no idea how people do this for 10 plus years. I hope that doesn't become part of my story... I hope my story doesn't keep defining me.
I'm supposed to be 10 weeks pregnant right now. Almost out of my first trimester. I was supposed to be happy..

My head is a jumbled mess of emotions and fears.

And right now, that's all I've got.